


The Zoo

by stupidnephilimlove



Series: Mundane Experiences [6]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Developing Relationship, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, references 2x08 suicide attempt, there's a conversation about Jocelyn, there's still a lot of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-27
Updated: 2018-01-27
Packaged: 2019-03-10 06:33:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13496728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stupidnephilimlove/pseuds/stupidnephilimlove
Summary: A late night conversation leads Magnus to learn that Alec has never been to the zoo.





	The Zoo

It’s early still. The room is flooded with darkness, except for the sliver of light that peeks through the slim gap in the doorway. It hits Magnus directly in the eye he’s blearily managed to crack open. Magnus doesn’t need to turn to know that Alec isn’t lying there next to him. The absence of the light snores that usually accompany the nights Alec spends here alert him to this fact, along with the missing warmth that comes from a body pressed close.

Twisting to glance at the clock, the 03:31 has him inwardly groaning. Magnus is pretty sure that they didn’t even attempt sleep until after two, they’d been too wrapped up in each other. Shifting, he notices the sheets are cold, cold enough that Alec must have been up for a while. Magnus wonders if Alec slept at all.

Drawing back the covers, cool air rushes to meet skin and with a flourish of his hand the temperature rises several degrees. Satisfied, _if he has to be out of bed at this time he’ll damn well be warm_ , Magnus ventures out from the comfort of the sheets. He pulls on his robe, the silk a welcome comfort against his skin and pushes the door fully open. Light spills freely into the room and Magnus blinks his eyes as he tries to adjust them to the sudden onslaught.

As Magnus’ eyes acclimatise, they settle on Alec. He’s slouched on the sofa, head bent at what must be an uncomfortable angle, and Magnus finds himself just standing there looking. Alec always looks so young when he’s sleeping. It’s as if the weight that is a constant burden, endlessly pulling him down, has been lifted. Some days, Magnus would give anything for them to leave their responsibilities behind, but neither of them would be the people they are without them. Neither of them would be able to turn their backs like that, or be able to live with themselves if they did.

The snores Magnus has been missing reach him from across the room, and he wonders when he became unable to sleep without them. Magnus lingers for just a minute more, savouring the quiet and committing this image of Alec to memory. Then he moves. The hand Magnus places on Alec’s shoulder has Alec jerking instantly awake, reaching instinctively for a weapon and his eyes dart around the room. It’s only when Alec’s eyes glance from the hand on his shoulder to Magnus’s face, that the tension begins to ease. Even then, Alec doesn’t relax fully, just turns back to stare at the hands he holds in front of him. Ever the soldier is Alexander, Magnus thinks. So much so that Alec’s first thought when roused from sleep is ‘where is the threat’. It makes something inside of Magnus ache, in sympathy and grief.

“Couldn’t sleep?” Magnus asks. Fingers threading through Alec’s soft hair, he brushes it back at the brow and smooths a thumb across the hairline. Alec closes his eyes into the touch, a soft hum in his throat. He doesn’t speak, just shakes his head.

“I’m here, if you want to talk about it?”

Magnus’ words are met with silence, and he sits next to Alec on the sofa.

“It’s just…” Alec flounders for a word, before giving up. He's still looking at his hands.

“Jocelyn?” Magnus prompts. They’ve talked about this, on and off, especially after the spell that had had Alec stepping off their balcony, but Alec hasn’t allowed himself forgiveness yet. Magnus knows it wasn’t Alec’s fault, and somewhere inside Alec, Alec knows that too. Still, Magnus doubts Alec will ever forgive himself.

“Sometimes I see it there still.” Alec’s voice is a murmur, but Magnus catches the words. He doesn’t need Alec to explain what the ‘it’ is. It’s evident in the way Alec has been unable to draw his gaze away from his hand. He looks at it like it’s unfamiliar to him, like it’s betrayed him, like he can’t even comprehend it. Magnus takes the offending hand in his own and bringing it to his lips, he presses a kiss into the open palm. He’d do anything to ease Alec’s pain, he feels it as acutely as his own.

“I didn’t mean to wake you.” Alec apologises, shaking his head as if to clear it of the memories. Magnus senses Alec doesn’t really want to discuss this right now and he understands. Alec’s dejected tone hurts Magnus, though he’d probably apologise for existing right now if Magnus asked him to. Still entwined, Magnus rests their hands in his lap, his thumb absently tracing languid circles into Alec’s skin.

“It _will_ get easier.” Magnus is careful not to use the word better, because it doesn’t ever really get better. It never really goes away. You just learn ways to deal with it. “And you didn’t. But once I was awake, I missed you.”

Magnus’ words draw a ghost of a smile to Alec’s lips, and Magnus congratulates himself.

“Thought you’d get in some reading?” Magnus asks.

“Yeah.” Alec glances down at the book in his lap and shrugs. “It was just on the coffee table.”

“Ah yes. I was explaining to young Simon the art of creating a snake a few weeks past. Tigers?” The page lies open, and Magnus tries to steer the conversation in a lighter direction. The least he can do is take Alec’s mind off his worries.

“They’re the biggest species of the cat family.” Alec holds out his arms in front of him as if he’s trying to gauge something. “How big do you think a full-grown one is? The book says sometimes over three metres.”

Magnus listens to Alec and suddenly he wonders, “Have you never seen a tiger?”

Magnus tries to keep his incredulity from his voice, but he fears he doesn’t quite hide it. Alec merely shrugs, that non-committal what-of-it shrug that he uses when Magnus says things like this.

“I always wanted to go to the zoo, but there was…” Alec keeps his face away from Magnus, trailing off, leaving the rest of the sentence unfinished. _Never time_ , Magnus knows that’s how that sentence would have finished. Magnus decides he’s going to find the time.

~

The late night conversation has Magnus buying tickets for the next free day they have together.

“You didn’t have to.” Alec tells Magnus, as they stand in line with their tickets. Alec’s grin, the one that that leaves adorable crinkles at the edge of Alec’s eyes, and dimples in Alec’s cheeks, says otherwise. Magnus most definitely had to do this.

“What do you want to see first?” Magnus asks, having handed over their tickets and made their way inside with the rest of the crowd. But Alec doesn’t reply, he’s looking straight ahead his face is a picture of amazement, he hasn’t heard anything Magnus just said. There, right in front of them, are a trio of elephants. Two babies and, Magnus guesses, their mother. Alec inches closer to the enclosure enraptured by the sight. The baby’s trunks are grappling for straw and their mother reaches up to pull some out for them.

“They’re so big.” Alec says, his words quiet and Magnus is quite sure Alec doesn’t even realise he’s said those words out loud. Alec twists his head to look at Magnus, his delight clearly visible on his face. “Even the little ones are nearly as tall as me!”

There’s a mother with her small son standing next to Magnus and Magnus is humoured by the way their conversation is mirroring his own.

“Come on.” Magnus drags Alec away from the enclosure and back to the map of the Zoo. He stands back and watches as Alec methodically maps out their path, ever the efficient planner.

“If we start here,” Alec points to the giraffes on the map, they’re just to the left of where they’re currently standing, “and move our way clockwise, we won’t miss the penguins and sea lions. But then we should come back on ourselves, around that bend to the bat cave. There’s a bat cave? Then -”

Magnus can’t help himself, if he’s honest he doesn’t even try. He doesn’t care that they’re in a public place or surrounded by people, he just turns Alec towards himself and presses a kiss to those gorgeous lips, halting Alec’s flow of words.

When Magnus pulls back, Alec’s got this bashful, almost-smile on his face.

“I got carried away didn’t I?” and he scratches at the hair at the nape of his neck.

Magnus just shakes his head, holds out his hand and instructs, “Lead the way.”

Alec hastily clasps their hands together, pulling Magnus forwards in the direction of the giraffes and Magnus feels a little giddy with glee.

~

Magnus’ feet make their complaints known as they walk back to where they entered, the man on the tannoy announcing the Zoo will be closing in thirty minutes. They’d spent the morning visiting every single animal enclosure, then they’d stopped for some food, before doing the complete circuit again. Of course, Alec has read up on each of them, reciting facts or reading them from the boards that were situated around the park. Magnus had been mesmerised by the way Alec had observed the animals, not just looking, but analysing. He wonders if Alec ever manages to switch his brain off.

Though Magnus’ feet cry out for a respite, the pain is most definitely worth it for the way he’d gotten to see Alec’s face light up with each new animal they’d come across. Each time Magnus witnesses it, he thinks it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. Magnus has noticed it before, that despite the soldier in Alec and the horrors he’s seen, there’s an innocence still there when you scrape all of that away, a pureness that Magnus hopes Alec will never lose.

Magnus is surprised and delighted by Alec once more, when he pulls him into the gift shop and starts to browse. He just stands to the side and watches. Alec wanders, a need to see everything, touch everything and Magnus can’t help but to chuckle at the sight. He’s reminded of the small child from earlier, with the elephants, no doubt he’d done just the same thing. Magnus’ eyes catch on a headband just over Alec’s left shoulder. It’s an orange and tan striped fabric, with furry tiger ears attached and Magnus knows he has to get it for Alec. A reminder of the animal that had inspired such a tremendous day out.

As they walk through the exit, Magnus turns to stop them both. He sees the surprise in Alec’s eyes as he reaches to place the headband in Alec’s hair. Alec comically tries to look up and see the headband, but it’s impossible. Instead, he lifts a hand, running it over the soft fur of the ears.

“Now you can be a tiger too,” Magnus says. For the umpteenth time that day, that grin of joy and wonder is directed solely at Magnus, before Alec presses his lips together trying to convey his gratitude.


End file.
